Losing my religion

And now just right in the corner, caught without any resistance, is me. Changing my mind, whatever, I’m choosing my confession. I may consider living in Paris or even somewhere in the eastern Europe. I don’t know if I miss you or not, but I feel it would be much better if you were here, with me. This is not your fault neither mines. So I think I’m going to find a place somewhere in Europe where it rains usually during the autumn and there are cobbles covering the streets. To me, I’m not the man of running for my life, I would prefer having a slow one. Somebody with me, holding my hand with her pale skin and maybe a bony face feeling my empty hours but leaving alone for the rest (who would be the one? I have real impressions). I do lean to act as a thinker and I think I have made mistakes in my decisions becoming what I am now
Oh girls, I think about them a lot and every aching hour they come and go, simple and easy. I wonder why I’m not brought to my knees but putting my frozen gaze at the tree outside my window. My father simply tells me you are not that alone to have a partner, sur?e
I do want to live lonely in my own apartment, just that

There are two enormous black waves
Back there at the horizon
The memory of the night before
Silence, darkness, uniqueness
Making the man thinking about her eyes
While putting his hands in his raincoat’s pockets
No more dreams
Seeking an obsolete ruin
To stay for the day,
Looking for the night
Thinking of what he gave up
Too many options to choose
This is the secret of the desert

Too many good friends, but finding more misery all around. The lifeless bodies putrefying everywhere. The sinister destiny is to feel all these under the huge rebels of civilization. Soldiers dying, girls stunned, children crying